3/4/2022
God knows what He is doing.
So many times over the past few months I have had to remind myself of this. Trust Him, Kristi. Do not fear.
Looking back, my journaling, my words and thoughts easily flowed as we were at Craig Hospital, in the thick of therapy and purposed healing, in the season of silence and Red Rocks worship evenings.
Curiously, I am almost at loss for words now that we are home, learning to simply “do” life, where Zac is not the central figure and therapy not able to be the central focus, where life and family and tasks and decisions all come crashing in on a daily basis.
I cried yesterday, getting off the phone with Craig Hospital and realizing that our days of extended therapy sessions there may be ending, that my plan for returning for several weeks this summer may not happen after all. I’m always strategizing in my head our next “move”, next therapy push, next “something” to keep a miracle in my boy happening.
But the Lord seems to be stripping away my plans with Craig Hospital, daring me, even constraining me, to believe that He can do His work without their technology. Without those programs. Without the therapists we have come to love.
Without MY plans.
God knows what He is doing. He has His own plans for Zac. I either believe this or I don’t. But it doesn’t change the truth of it.
Zac has not changed.
His heart, that is. He is joyful and purposed. He is not daunted by his paralysis. He continues to put Gods word into his heart daily, as he just finished last week listening through the entire Bible. He lives in the “now”, embracing the day, pursuing what he can do, releasing what he can’t do, not concerned for the future, but enjoying each day.
What a teacher he is to me.
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We attended a wedding on the beach last month. I thot it would be impossible for Zac to attend - for it required navigating down a slippery, steep, skinny trail over logs. But he and his brother showed up and suddenly, there was a team of friends around him, and I stood back to watch, quite amused, as his brother pick him up and piggy-backed him all the way down to the wedding venue.
Wow. God knows what He is doing. There is nothing impossible for Him.
We just completed a very fast, five-week wedding planning season in which Spencer got married. Zac was the Best Man. He rolled down the isle with the Maid of Honor and was lifted to the stage by the groom. Nevermind the fact that it took him over a minute to open the ring box and present it to Spencer as all 350 of us waited and watched… he finally opened the box with a big grin and we all cheered.
Wow. God knows what He is doing. There is nothing impossible for Him.
Our new house continues to be in remodel mode as we wait it out at our rental. Work is very slow and workers are few, but concrete paths are being forged to give Zac house access. It is tiring to wait for hope to unfold. But I must remember, God knows what He is doing. There is nothing impossible for Him.
And the Mayo Clinic. Remember those lovely Stem Cells that were injected into Zac last November, those “one hundred million messengers, ready to accomplish God’s purposes?” Does it lesson the miracle if we can’t see their effect yet? Does it negate the fact that there is still a work going on at his cellular level, even if it is not evident? God continues to whisper, “I know what I’m doing. There is nothing impossible for Me.”
What a journey of faith and constant release that we are all on together.
