Journal Entry 4/3 From Kristi

Live today, not in reflection of the past

Live today, not in presumption of the future.

It was a beautiful sunny day in Denver, snow still crowning the majestic Colorado Rocky Mountains that tower over us from a distance, and I decided to go for a walk while Zac was in class. I found myself sitting at the top of a very long flight of stairs, leading down to a pathway that weaved between a park’s soccer and baseball fields. I began to reminisce about Zac’s soccer and baseball days as a little boy. So many happy memories. But I sat on top of the steps leading down to the field, steps that gave no wheelchair access to even get to the fields, and I just wept.

A text message came to me: “Kristi, just wanted to encourage you today with your own words: ‘Finish their sentences, Zac. Say, ‘God has the final Word’.’ Also, ‘Lord, strengthen our hearts to not fear the mountains. You are there.’”

How just like the Lord - my own words coming back to remind me that as I sit on this mountain of steps, I am not alone. As I imagine Zac sitting in his wheelchair next to me, unable to get down the stairs, unable to access the fields, unable to move as he once moved, we are not to fear the mountain, God is with us.

Charis was with us this week. She was a breath of fresh air for both Zac and I... so incredibly encouraging to have here. She brought us strength. And I loved observing her joy in spending time with Zachary. He made her laugh.

We went to visit the Botanical Gardens with Charis and we found that the smooth, paved path that wove between exhibits brought us to a choice: accessible ramp or stairs. We chose the stairs. Just for fun. Just as I had been trained in his therapy classes, I tipped Zac back in his chair and pulled him up backward while Charis spotted him from the front. Easy enough. Stairs are not scary. Just a little more effort.

Again, the weather was beautiful and we took a picnic down to the lake. The path led us to stairs. We had no choice, but the mountain seemed smaller this time. Again, we moved him up the stairs.

I’m learning to Live today.

I’m beginning to see that although Zac’s story has brought us to the foot of the Colorado Rocky Mountains, unlike the physical world, mountains are actually much smaller than they appear the closer we walk to them in faith.

God seems to be extending our ability to remain here at Craig for Outpatient rehab until May 14. Continue to pray for Zac’s healing. His core gets stronger daily.

Zacs 19th birthday is next week. Whereas Everest was ready to take his turn for a visit, Spencer is now joining him again... as well as Rich, and so we are bringing Charis back too. Our entire family will be together for the first time since Nov to celebrate Zac’s bday.

Daily my heart trembles. But then faith takes me to the foot of the mountain, and it doesn’t seem quite so big.

We are having to rent an Airbnb next week to accommodate the family here. I gave Zac a choice as to where he wanted to stay with the family.

He chose the house with seven steps to the front door.