Journal Entry 8/10 From Kristi

To be honest, I’ve sat down almost every day to attempt to pen an update, but it is hard to focus. Months of uninterrupted therapy for Zac now clash with integrating back into life at home. Both are needful. But our rhythm is definitely off.

This was my thot from last week:

“It’s too much, Lord.”

I can’t even begin to count how many times I have found myself completely depleted, crying this out to the Lord since our return from rehab two months ago. The layers of this journey seem to unfold before us daily, with new twists and turns to the road of recovery.

Overwhelmed, I cry out, “it’s just too much, Lord.”

It dawned on me today that this depletion could be good. Feeling empty is not necessarily a bad thing. It leaves me exhausted and with no other agenda but to trust the Lord. And so with the emptying, goes the fears. And the questions. And my own efforts. Cause I’m too tired to fight on my own. And gladly I just want to step aside and let the Holy Spirit lead the way.

And I always find that the Lord somehow rescues me from that moment and gently fills me up again. And again. And again.

“so our eyes look to the Lord our God, until He has mercy upon us.” (Psalm 123:2)

Mercy comes as we keep our eyes on the Lord.

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Today’s thoughts:

We are STILL waiting for physical therapy to get cleared by insurance. I’ve been restless/ anxious since leaving Craig for him to get active again. Piles of phones calls, paperwork, research…. There is no one close by who is familiar with spinal cord injuries, but we’ve met with a local therapist who is great, has a heart for Zac, and is willing to take him on. But again, the Lord must be the One to lead this journey for all of us. For if Zachary is God’s workmanship, which he is (Eph. 2:10), then God is leading the therapy and we must simply trust.

We are STILL waiting to hear back from the Mayo Clinic. God will either open the doors completely or shut them. Again, lots of paperwork, phone calls, labs… etc. This is Gods story. We do all we can and then lay it at His feet and simply trust.

We are STILL waiting to know where we will be moving come Sept 4th. We are in escrow on a home (which has quite a story in and of itself), but complications arise daily and the Lord must be the One to keep the door open. He knows where He wants us. We must simply trust.

So… lots of STILLS happening in life right now. Including, Zac, who is STILL smiling; God, who is STILL working; and me, who is STILL learning.

A good time to “be STILL and know that HE is God.” (Psalm 46:10)

Oh yes, and I STILL need to start packing.