Journal Entry 1/5 From Kristi

How many times have I prayed Psalm 68:28, “Lord, show Yourself strong!” It sounds like such a great prayer. I want to see His mighty hand, I want to see Him do great works, I want to see Him swoop down and SAVE! Yet in my passionate, loud prayers, I sometimes miss His still small voice: “Daughter, My power is made perfect in your weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)

My weakness? I’m not always comfortable with that. I don’t like feeling weak. But I do want to see God’s power. I’m torn.

Zac’s weakness is obvious now. He sits in his wheelchair and does a “weight shift” in which he will lean forward, elbows on his knees, to take the weight off his bum. But if he leans too far forward, he loses his balance and buckles over, laughing so hard he cannot call for help. He has no strength to push himself back up. I come to his rescue. His joy, his laughter in his weakness inspires me and I start laughing too. He doesn’t show frustration. He is ok with being weak. He knows he will be saved.

Today was a full day of back to back classes. Zac enjoyed the physical therapy class on the blue mat most of all. It highlighted his weakness, but he didn’t run from it. (He couldn’t anyways, not yet 😉). His body is weak; he has to learn balance all over again... but he is determined and not afraid. His Physical Therapist is awesome. He won’t let him fall.

Would I be comfortable with being that weak, that powerless, just to see God scoop down and save me?

Zac has said so many times that he is “excited” with what God is doing. I think I’m slowly getting it. Thanks for making me weak, Lord. Thank you when I fumble. Because now there is SO much space for You to work and show Yourself strong!

Now I love watching Zac’s weakness. Be still, my soul. You just wait.

“He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength.” Isaiah 40:29

I believe, Lord.