Journal Entry 1/22 From Kristi
After saying goodnight to Zac last night, I went outside the hospital just in time to listen in on a song Spencer had written for Zac. Standing there, looking up at the light on in his room, I considered his accident and this journey we’ve been on. Spencer’s beautiful lyrics captured it so perfectly.
RESTORE
By Spencer for Zachary
Verse 1:
“Helpless I layed in the sea of Your wrath,
As the waters swept over my head.
Alone left to gaze and to cope, Forced to carry the weight of the choices I made.
Pre-chorus:
Then You drew me from that place,
Set me high upon a rock.
Chorus:
Now You are working to mend what's been severed,
Though I may not see it right now.
You are reaching to touch every part,
Though I may feel nothing at all.
This I know is true, and so I'll trust with confidence,
You're restoring my soul.
Verse 2:
I'm not who I was; I've been changed by Your grace,
And by grace I'm secured and sustained.
Called now to run and endure this race,
I hold fast to the promise You made.
Pre-chorus:
You have called me by Your name,
And I am Yours forever.
Chorus:
(And/As) You are working to mend what's been severed,
Though I may not see it right now.
You are reaching to touch every part,
Though I may feel nothing at all.
This I know is true, and so I'll trust with confidence,
You're restoring my soul.
Bridge:
I've never known comfort so deep,
I've never had joy so full,
I've never been more refreshed in my life,
(Lord) I'm diving into You.
Journal Entry 1/20 From Kristi
Two months today since Zac’s accident. He prayed tonight, “Thank you, Lord, for the blessing that You’ve poured out on me these past two months.” Daily we get to chose: do we count the loss or do we count the gain? For the most part, it is not hard to count the gain, for God’s gracious hand has been evident with us every day.
On Monday, Zac was placed back in the waters. The last time he was submerged in water was when God pulled him out on the day of his accident when the cold waves were lapping over him, threatening to take his life. But this time the therapy pool waves were a 98-degree warmth and every gentle moment brought strengthening to his muscles. Watching him being lowered back into the waters, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or laugh - it was overwhelming to watch. I just stood there with a grin. Tears easily get pushed aside when I take inventory of the goodness of God.
On Tuesday, Zac was placed behind the wheel of a car with adaptive hand controls. It won’t be hard for him to drive, but getting in and out of the car is a big obstacle now. So many options to consider. I’m so grateful but to acknowledge them is to acknowledge a lifestyle change. It is still so hard to process.
Tuesday afternoon we had coffee outside with Franz, whose similar injury took place 8 days after Zacs. His story and faith have touched our hearts. His parents are not able to be here full time so Zac and I have purposed to check in on him frequently. He is equally inspiring and I know the boys will keep each other encouraged.
Tuesday night, we were focusing on Zac’s hands when suddenly his right-hand pinky quivered! Yes, moved!!! I can hardly explain the joy of such simple nerve connections, but it is absolutely thrilling. We both laughed. What an amusing God we have! He took the WEAKEST link from the WEAKEST side of his body and caused IT to move first! Truly, God “hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty”. 1 Cor. 1:27. The right-hand pinky moving first... the smallest member of the weakest part of his body... the first to “wake up”... the flesh Zac can’t even FEEL right now - what a beautiful timeless truth. Another gentle reminder from our God; it’s almost as if He went after the impossible FIRST to say, “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?” Jer. 32:27
Today, Zac’s Occupational Therapist confirmed his pinky flexors and extensors were firing and will start working on electric stimulation to get movement in there.
This afternoon, Zac got back on the FES bikes to stimulate his legs. Praying the Lord will open the door for us to bring one of those bikes home for him.
He also got fitted for a handcycle and took a spin around the block.
Today, on this two month anniversary of Zac’s accident, my heart is so full of the goodness of God.
Journal Entry 1/17 From Kristi
We enjoyed a two day weekend of no classes... Saturday we redecorated the room, sat outside in the sun sipping coffee, worked out in the Peak Center on our own.
Sunday we met Franz’s mom and had a great chat with her. Franz was admitted last week and also has a C5/C6 injury but has been battling complications. We listened in to the church service at home (so blessed!) and then went down and did some stretching on the therapy mat.
Played Thumb Wars tonight... holding hands we tried to see who could pin the other person’s thumb. Of course, I had a slight advantage since Zac can’t move his thumb (haha!) but it was a good mental game for him to encourage his fingers to obey his brain.
It is a constant discipline to stay focused on God’s promises. So many unknown waters to traverse ahead (ie. how do we make a tri-level rental homework for Zac?) and I begin to sink quickly when I take my eyes off the Lord... our faith is everything to the Lord. The Comfort of Faith... one of the last teachings I did in my Women’s Study, The Footsteps of Jesus, before Zac’s accident. Our faith, not our sight, is where we truly see God. And there is nothing sweeter in the world than getting a glimpse of our Savior. So I’m gonna try to take another step on the water again tomorrow.
Plus, Zac gets to go swimming for the first time since his accident!
Journal Entry 1/15 From Kristi
What a full week. It started out with such a big bang as I got to witness Zac’s running legs finally MOVE - they hooked him up to the FES (Functional Electric Stimulation) bike and with full electric stimulation, those legs pedaled the bike. It was thrilling to watch and I immediately asked his Physical Therapist when we could get him back on the bike. Lord, this is it!! This will wake up those legs of his!! 🚴♂️
But his schedule was too full the next day to get back on the bikes. Disappointed. We were scheduled to attend a planning meeting on how to prepare our home for when he returns. So I asked his PT again if he could clear some time for the bikes. But again, his schedule was too full. Lord, Zac needs to get back on that bike so his legs can remember how to move!!
I found myself working hard to change his schedule. I was sure this is how the miracle would come. I found myself restless during the scheduled meetings and satisfied only when Zac was breaking a sweat.
And then the Lord stopped me. "I will fight for him, Kristi. You have only to be silent." (Ex.14:14) Wow. Then it hit me. We will continue to maximize rehab, but in the end, this is the Lord’s work, not ours. It will be His hand that heals, not ours. He is the one to receive all glory; we will take no credit. How often I want to help Him along. But He says, “Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD.” (Ex 14:13) Ok Lord, I will stand still. And Zac wants to obey too... so according to Your word, let him stand.
Weekday classes are everyday 8-5. Wednesday had Wheelers, in which he competed with 3 other guys to see who could roll down the halls of the hospital the fastest in their wheelchair. On the first try, Zac won with a time of 14.8. On the second lap, he hit the breaks instead of pushing his wheel and it jerked him 90 degrees to crash into the wall. No harm done but a good laugh by all!!
Today he was able to try out a Quad Rugby chair. We will see if we can sneak that chair into the Wheelers class for his next race! Haha
He said tonight that his ab binder around his back and stomach is a little itchy. This is great news because it means he can feel some sensation below his chest. He is beginning to feel “full” after eating a meal. Also, good to hear! The palms of his hands feel “tingley”. Also, his toe is a little “sore”. (I did have the nurse check it to make sure it was not bruised from crashing into the wall). But these “feelings” are increasing!
Ok Lord, I’m standing, I’m Standing, I’m Standing as still as I can!!! I want to see Your salvation of this boy!
Journal Entry 1/13 From Kristi
So grateful for a full day today.
Zac worked on his slide-board transfers which allows him to move from his wheelchair to another surface of the same height. He has strong biceps. But his triceps and balance is still a challenge. He is such a determined worker. He was working on these transfers for an hour with his physical therapist. Later, another therapist told him other students were watching him learn how to do this move. He is not perfect, but still, his actions are inspiring others. Very encouraging.
We were in a tech class today when a familiar face rolled up in a wheelchair. I’ve been communicating with another mom who loves the Lord and whose son just arrived at Craig. I recognized him only because I had seen his photo, and it took all of my self-control not to run over and give him a big hug. Haha! I just want him to be filled to overflowing with all of the Hope that God has put within us. There is something so special about the body of Christ and our ability to connect even when we don’t even know each other. I believe the Lord is going to allow these boys to mutually encourage one another.
Such a mysterious journey the Lord has us on. Once the classes are over, the evenings become quiet. We chat. I rub his feet. I pray for his hands... His fingers are still so still. I hold them in my own hands and “will” them to move. But they don’t. But God is not concerned with stillness, even when I am. In fact, He encourages it. I’m reminded that the Lord tells us “to be still and know that I am God.” Why is it that I’m always so focused on movement? God simply asks us to be ok with the still moments and He will breathe strength into us. He will do the work. It is not ours to try to muster up on our own.
The evening ended on a beautiful note. We’ve been reading the Action Bible together just for fun, but I have had to turn the pages... tonight, he figures out how to get his thumb under the page and flip it over by himself. Such a small task. But so thrilling to see him turn the page on his own. God is good. One a day at a time.
Journal Entry 1/11 From Kristi
So today was a great day. Zac got on an FES Bike (Functional Electric Stimulation) in which his leg muscles were given electrical pulses causing them to contract in such a way that he was able to pedal a stationary bike. I was so moved to see his quadriceps contracting once again.
It reminded me of the many Cross Country races I used to watch him run; there was nothing I loved more - loudly cheering for him as I stood on the sidelines, watching him push himself, giving every last ounce of his energy.
And today, once again on the sidelines - I placed my hand on those same quadriceps, feeling them contract, and I quietly cheered for God to turn those Electric-stimulations into God-stimulations.
Take over those muscles, Lord!
His PT said she was very impressed with his ability to tolerate the stim, especially being his first session. “You haven’t seen nothing yet” I could hear myself quietly saying back to her. He pedaled for 30 beautiful minutes.
Later this afternoon he worked on a car transfer in which he used a slide board to get into the passenger seat of a car. Oh how I wanted to just drive off with him!!
As evening closed, we began to look at photos of his time in ICU. It was very encouraging to see how far he has already come in just the past 51 days. Although there is so much to still conquer, God’s faithfulness is very evident.
I began to rub his feet, as I often do, just to remind the rest of his body that they are still attached. I challenged him to focus on moving his toes. And as I held those precious feet in my hand, as he was staring down at them with absolute focus, his right big toe moved, ever so slightly. We both jumped and looked at each other, wanting to confirm that what we saw was real. “Zac, you just moved your toe!!” I said! He laughed. He saw it too. It was not a muscle spasm nor a twitch. His toe was obeying what his brain told him to do.
Keep it up, Lord. Let him run this race. We are cheering for You!
#zacsHope is Jesus!
Journal Entry 1/10 From Kristi
Zac and I noticed something kinda cool yesterday as we sat outside, sipping our coffee. The snow was falling all around us, accumulating beautifully on the grass and roads, trees and shrubs. However, whenever the snow landed on the path leading back to the main doors of the rehab center, it would melt and not stick at all. In fact, the path was perfectly DRY, not even wet from the new snow. The contrast was striking.
Immediately I knew. My God who parted the Red Sea and allowed the Israelites to cross on dry ground is the same God directing our path here. I KNOW He is going to part these waters, make a way where there seems to be no way, perform the impossible - praise God HE is the one directing our steps, and not us. He’s drying out the path for us... in order to prepare for us His miracle. “But the children of Israel WALKED on dry land in the midst of the sea.” Exodus 14:22
(Never mind that we later figured out they had installed hot water pipes underneath the sidewalks to melt the snow. We saw what God wanted us to see and we heard what God wanted to say to us. )
Can’t wait for tomorrow. Zac gets to ride a bike!
Journal Entry 1/9 From Kristi
Fresh white snow fell gently all day today. We can see it out of Zac’s fourth floor window... covering all of the grey landscape with pure white, erasing the dreary and bringing a fresh vision. It was a sweet, relaxing Saturday as there was nothing on the schedule.
Zac was listening to his Bible from the Dwell app off his phone when I came in this morning. I finished it up with him. Then we grabbed coffee and went outside to watch the snow fall; FaceTimed my parents as they sat outside with snow hats on, drinking their cocoa too.
After lunch we went down to the Peak Center for a gym workout. He was able to get propped up in the Standing Chair at a 70% incline (furthest yet). It is exciting to see him standing upright. According to Your Word, Lord, let him stand. “Stand firm in the faith." 1 Cor. 16:13.
In the afternoon, we spent over an hour on a FaceTime call with a Calvary Magazine reporter. It was such a blessing to sit side by side with Zac and hear him testify of all of the beautiful things God has done in his life over the past 8 weeks. Where just two days ago the Lord was speaking so loudly to me, “Trust in me with all of your heart, Kristi, and do not lean on your own understanding,” - Zac completed by “acknowledging the Lord in all of his ways.”
Joy comes in knowing HE is the one directing our path.
Journal Entry 1/7 From Kristi
I woke up anxious today.
A big Clinical Care Management Conference was scheduled for this afternoon with Zac’s doctor and entire therapy team (around 14 specialized therapists) to discuss Zac’s medical and functional status, establish goals, and plan for his discharge. I wasn’t sure my heart was ready for it. I didn’t want to think about a plan. I didn’t want to try to understand why he is weak. Day by day seems all I can manage. But the Lord steadied my heart. #zacsHope... “an Anchor to the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast...”. Heb. 6:19. Deep breath. Ok Lord, I’m ready.
Zac and I arrived to the conference room first, coffee in hand. I wondered if he was nervous. He didn’t seem so. One by one they began to arrive... his team... the Physical Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Recreational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Case Manager, Doctor, Nurse, Technician, Respiratory Therapist, Phycologist, Dietitian... all of those who have been assigned to Zacs care here. And then family, my blessed support team, began to log on to Zoom to join remotely.
One by one his Therapists began to give their evaluation of Zac. One by one they spoke of his strength, energy, positive attitude, faith... one by one they shared their plans of how to get him to a functioning place to return home and thrive. And then family began to ask questions... each one that spoke seemed to lift a little bit of my burden. So much to process. But what an incredible support team the Lord has given us. I’m overwhelmed.
Saying good night to Zac, I left feeling quite weary. I logged onto our live-streamed church service to see Spencer leading worship and Everest playing percussion. There was an empty space between them on the stage. And I started to cry. Lord, Zac belongs there, right in between them, playing his bass. And as quickly as my tears came, the Lord very firmly said, “Do you trust Me?”
Tonight, I’m kinda at loss for words. But I guess that’s ok. Tonight, the Lord keeps repeating Himself: “Do you trust Me?”
I do feel weak. But I KNOW He is worthy of my trust. He has NOT failed us yet. He does NOT change.
I falter when I lean on my own understanding. When I lean on what I see. When I come up with my own plan. I’m AM so thankful for Zac’s awesome team here who want to formulate the very best plan for Zac’s rehab. But when all is said and done, I must not forget the Lord has the final Plan.
Lord, help me to trust in You with all of my heart.
Journal Entry 1/5 From Kristi
How many times have I prayed Psalm 68:28, “Lord, show Yourself strong!” It sounds like such a great prayer. I want to see His mighty hand, I want to see Him do great works, I want to see Him swoop down and SAVE! Yet in my passionate, loud prayers, I sometimes miss His still small voice: “Daughter, My power is made perfect in your weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)
My weakness? I’m not always comfortable with that. I don’t like feeling weak. But I do want to see God’s power. I’m torn.
Zac’s weakness is obvious now. He sits in his wheelchair and does a “weight shift” in which he will lean forward, elbows on his knees, to take the weight off his bum. But if he leans too far forward, he loses his balance and buckles over, laughing so hard he cannot call for help. He has no strength to push himself back up. I come to his rescue. His joy, his laughter in his weakness inspires me and I start laughing too. He doesn’t show frustration. He is ok with being weak. He knows he will be saved.
Today was a full day of back to back classes. Zac enjoyed the physical therapy class on the blue mat most of all. It highlighted his weakness, but he didn’t run from it. (He couldn’t anyways, not yet 😉). His body is weak; he has to learn balance all over again... but he is determined and not afraid. His Physical Therapist is awesome. He won’t let him fall.
Would I be comfortable with being that weak, that powerless, just to see God scoop down and save me?
Zac has said so many times that he is “excited” with what God is doing. I think I’m slowly getting it. Thanks for making me weak, Lord. Thank you when I fumble. Because now there is SO much space for You to work and show Yourself strong!
Now I love watching Zac’s weakness. Be still, my soul. You just wait.
“He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength.” Isaiah 40:29
I believe, Lord.
Journal Entry 1/4 From Kristi
Zac finally got the clearance from his doctor to remain in his wheelchair all day. This is great news! (Prior to this, he was limited to two hours at a time to allow his body to heal). This opens many more classes for his daily schedule.
I was also given the clearance to use the lift to transfer him from bed to chair which gives us greater freedom to get him to class and access therapy mats.
Boot Camp has officially begun! Lord, we are ready for Your expedited healing. Do more than we even ask or imagine, according to Your Word! (Eph 3:20)
Also, for Boot Camp today, I was taught how to roll Zac, while in his wheelchair, down 5 steps and back up again. This momma is gonna get some muscles too!!
Today Zac began an Upper Extremities class in which he had his right (weaker) arm strapped into a mechanical arm that helped challenge him with all of his fine movements.
Pray specifically for the strengthening of his right tricep. It is “firing” but very weak.
Pray for his ability to grip and for his fingers to be able to feel.
I love this verse from Psalm 45:1 that was shared with me: “My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.”
My friend reminded me: “Zac might not be able to use his fingers yet to write, but his TONGUE is the pen of a ready writer, ready to be used mightily by our precious Lord. And when his fingers are healed for writing, what a composition that will be!”
I’ve been communicating with another mom whose son was paralyzed from a skiing accident just around the same time Zac was. They are due to arrive here at Craig on Wednesday. They love the Lord and I fully believe the boys will connect; mutually, their “tongues will be the pens of ready writers”, proclaiming the goodness of God by moving their lips until their bodies follow.
#zacsHope is Jesus.
All of our Hope is Jesus.
Journal Entry 1/2 From Kristi
He was traveling with his college buddies and was thrown from the car...
Her daughter died last year and now she is here with her grandson who just became paralyzed...
His wife was in a car accident and now can only communicate with him by blinking her eyes...
Everyone has a story here. Each one grips our hearts. Some of them are smiling. Some only stare at the ground and will not look us in the eyes. The brokenness is so real.
But we are reminded that we have the Words of life. #zacshope is indeed Jesus. And their Hope is Jesus too, even if they do not know it yet. For “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Ps. 34:18) and “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Ps. 146:3)
How is Zac able to move through his brokenness with a sincere smile and deep peace? He does not “grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” (1 Thes 4:13)
He knows where his Hope lies. “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Heb. 6:19)
Thank you, Jesus. You are our Everything.
Journal Entry 1/1 From Kristi
2020 is over and 2021 is now upon us. It seems the whole world is taking a deep sigh of relief to say goodbye to the past year and standing with hopeful expectation of days to come.
Zac said to me today regarding his paralysis, “It’s like God gave me a reset.”
In one moment, it seemed everything in Zac’s life changed; in an instant he went from strength to weakness, from plans to uncertainty, from ability to dependency. Everything “gone”. But he says this “excites him”. I should have started counting how many times he used the word excited those first few weeks. This is his great “reset”. The opportunity to be taken down to nothing that the Lord can rebuild him in His image. This is why he is excited.
Everything changed, but then again, nothing changed. For his life was not built on the physical, but on Jesus Christ. This mystifies people. A reporter asked him, “How have you been so strong through all of this?”
His answer: “My faith in God. It is my firm foundation. When everything is stripped away, He is the Perfect thing to hold onto. And it has been incredible to see that through the fire, He has been there the entire time. I would rather be through the fire with God than in the world alone without Him.”
The physical change in his life is so drastic right now, but he is choosing faith, choosing to stay locked onto the promises of God. It is a choice. And because of his choice, his spiritual strength is matching his physical weakness.
Closing off this first day of 2021, this was Zac’s prayer: “I thank You, Lord, for this day, for the opening of a new year. I pray that You would bless it and go before us and that You would take control this year; You already have it all planned out. I pray that we would follow the steps that You want us to. As Proverbs 16:9 says, ‘A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.’ Thank You for this last year and for Your hand through it all. In Jesus name, Amen.”
Rich and the kids have returned home, I’m settled into my long-term apartment next door to the hospital, and we are taking a deep breath, ready to charge into this year with faith, joy, gratitude, and expectancy - for we KNOW we will see the goodness of the Lord! (Psalm 27:13)
Saying Goodbye
Saying goodbye after a great visit with the family. Zac was on speakerphone looking out his bedroom window when we took this picture. He was even smiling for the photo lol. Then all six of us prayed together.
Zac gets to keep the brace off now!!
“Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.” Psalm 143:8
Journal Update 12/28-29 From Rich
It has been my privilege to be with Zachary for my fourth day at Craig Rehabilitation Center, alternating with Kristi who has been with him every day since the Providential event of our son being “Drawn from Water” and given to us as a child, even a baby. The prowess of an athletically built, and stout young man to a paralyzed premature infant carried upon the strength of others at the water’s edge who were appointed to lay God’s hands upon Zach for delivery to his generation.
Several weeks ago, I taught a sermon of God coming from Glory to Infancy. He made Himself helpless, vulnerable, and uniquely availed Himself as One possessing the power of creating the universe and all life, yet choosing to live in humility among humanity and in complete reliance upon the Grace of our Heavenly Father and the charity of parents and community, and select believers, such was Jesus in submission as a baby.
What do I know; that Zachary asked God to glorify Himself in such a way with his temporal earthly life, that whatever it translated itself into, be it consequence of faculty or eloquence of expressed giftings, it was Zachary’s heart of absolute surrender to ask the Lord that his life be an offering. Though I could have presided over his burial, the Lord God chose to bear Zach in completing perfection; from Infancy to Glory.
What do I know; that God’s ear was bent low as if having waited these 18 years to act in Sovereign Grace to bless another true prayer request of such pure utterance it would be contrary to the Lord’s disposition to revoke an opportunity to bless a young man who was willing to become less, to become least, to become nothing, that God might become everything and be the guarantor of His Faithfulness, personally.
What do I know; that everyone wants what Zachary found, Joy in the Spirit and freedom in Christ. Yet, there is a degradation, there is a denigration, there is humiliation, there is a pitiful declination that marks one for such Holy identity and that only one who has the faith of a child could be granted the place of a friendship with God that has no limits linked to body and soul, simply revelation of Jesus in a more perfect spiritual union.
What do I know; that God has allowed Zach to teach me, a teacher, that I know nothing until I choose to know only the deep fellowship of suffering in faithful expectation of a good God doing a good thing and trusting Him for an outcome of good that cannot be seen until my belief marries faith and I become a child again!
What do I know; the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen is the Lord’s story being written regarding the life of Zach who dared to surrender with no apprehension, has no regrets, but just joyous anticipation that God will answer him in whatever he asks for He has pleased the Lord to bring Him glory!
May the Lord bless each one of us in the trials, in the testing, within the fire, and through the waters, Amen!
#zacsHope is Jesus!
Journal Entry 12/26-27 From Kristi
Rich spent the day with Zac yesterday. I love knowing they have time together. He was fitted for a manual wheelchair and though it is much more of a workout for him to get around, he enjoys the challenge. We had another opportunity for a family visit with Zac as well. We talked about nothing in particular but we sure laughed together a lot. So nice to hang out and just watch my kids enjoy each other.
I spent the day with him today. It is a huge blessing to listen to our home church online. The afternoon was quiet (they say weekends always are). In order to stay focused and not grow discouraged, I find God’s word must continually be in the forefront of our minds; I want to run ahead and make things happen, to give God the opportunity to perform His miracles, but God quietly says, “I’ve got this. Just be still today and know I’m God.” *sigh* ok Lord. I will wait on You.
As I pray with Zac each night before I leave, I’ve noticed he fidgets a lot with his fingers. He can barely feel them. Perhaps it’s his silent way of praying for them. I was reminded today by a dear friend that Zac's life is God's instrument. Morning after morning, he used to awaken me with his piano practicing, working tirelessly to perfect the song he was working on, his fingers mastering every chord and scale. I would lay in bed in those early hours, listening to him... my heart filled with such joy as I would hear him play. My friend reminded me that “God is doing the same with Zac as His instrument, and the profound ‘music’ that will be performed will be more than we can imagine at this time.” Amen. Let it be so, Lord.
#zacsHope is Jesus!
Journal Entry 12/24-25 From Kristi
“And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths and laid Him in a manger because there was no place for them in the inn.” Luke 2:7
The first Christmas. Far from ideal. Her firstborn was not born at home. Not surrounded by family. She had to wrap her Baby in grave clothes and place Him in an animal’s food trough. I’m sure it was far from what this mother imagined her first delivery would be like.
As I woke this morning, I considered how Zac was waking up alone. No Christmas tree to run down to... not even the ability to run to one... no family to greet him... so far from ideal, Lord. By God’s grace, we were all able to meet up at Craig for a 45 min supervised visitation, 6 feet apart with masks on... no hugging... so far from ideal. I remained with Zac for the day while the rest of the family celebrated Christmas in our little hotel room.
Far from ideal, far from tradition, but isn’t that just what Jesus did? He did not remain in glory but left perfection in order that we might be perfected in Him. “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us...”. This brought me comfort to know the Lord does not work in ideals. He works in the extraordinary. He works in the different. I should not fear the less-then-ideal. Why? Because it is exactly where His glory is found.
“And we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14
Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us. He works in ways far from ideal. Far from what we think is best. But it is in this space that we see His glory.
And somehow it makes this adventure worth it all. It gives us courage to say, as Mary did when she was presented the less-than-ideal situation from the angel: “Be it unto me, according to Your Word.” Luke 1:38.
Zac’s body is less than ideal. He is not afraid because He is confident that this is the place God will reveal His glory.
A sincere Merry Christmas to each of you. Thank you for traveling with us on this journey. Be excited for the less-than-ideal in your life; in fact, embrace it. Give God space to dwell within your life, then stand back and see His glory.
He is working in glorious ways we cannot even fathom. And that makes life with Him so marvelously exciting.
#zacsHope is Jesus
The 6 Abblitts
"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." 1 Cor 13:12
Journal Entry 12/23 From Kristi
First day since Zac’s surgery that I didn’t get to be with him. Rich and the kids arrived via plane yesterday and since covid policy only allows only one of us with him at a time, Rich spent the day with Zac. Even though my heart ached as I left his room last night, there is only one thing that would pull me from him - my other three Blessings.
I dropped Rich off at the hospital and sat in the car under Zac’s fourth story window, imagining their joyful reunion. I know Zac was excited to see his Dad as well and demonstrate his improvements and show him around Craig. (When he is not in a therapy class, and there are many, Zac has the liberty to putter around anywhere on the campus now on his own in his electric chair.)
He took Dad to the Peak Center gym for a good workout, demonstrated his arm control with virtual reality Fruit Ninja, and even took a first crack back at the piano (using his left hand to hold out the right hand’s pointer finger and tap out Heart and Soul).
The kids and I were running errands near the hospital and managed to coordinate a 10 min hello with Zac through the hospital window. We stood outside (it was freezing!) while Zac and Rich remained inside, and we communicated through speakerphone. It worked out great minus the freezing temperature.
Such a blessing to have all 6 of us together for a moment.
Every time I see Zac, he is smiling. “The joy of the Lord is my strength” (Neh 8:10) is not just a feel-good verse. It is truly evident in Zac’s heart that the Lord is keeping him strengthened because has absolute confidence in God. He doesn’t question God. He isn’t fearful of the future. He enjoys the moment and is kind to everyone who interacts with him. He trusts the Lord is in control and is leading him. God’s joy is upon him.
I have so much to learn
#zacsHope is Jesus
