Journal Entry 3/19 From Kristi

“But that you may KNOW ....”

We were listening to the Bible the other day when the story of Jesus healing the paralytic came on. This phrase in Mark 2:10 caught my attention... “that you may KNOW” Jesus forgives sins, He commanded the paralytic to “rise up.”

God performs great works so that others may know He has the power, not only to heal broken bodies, but to save broken spirits. Restoring a right relationship with God through the work of Jesus on the cross is always His greatest purpose. But He often demonstrates His power in our lives in physical ways “that we may KNOW” He can heal what really is broken inside of us.

Everything God is doing in Zac points back to Jesus. And that is exactly what God did for him this week: He gave him his right pointer finger back. On Tuesday, Zac returned from his OT session with a big smile on his face. “Now my pointer finger is working!” he exclaimed. It moves ever so slightly, but his nerves are connecting and he can repeat the motion. That is just like You, Lord. For every good work accomplished in Zac points to You.

Still, it is a battle of patience for me at times. It is a battle to not let my heart grow anxious... Not rushing ahead of God, thinking He is slow, indeed, "The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness.” (2 Peter 3:9).

After a night of tears this week, as I cried out to the Lord for full healing for my son, i woke to this beautiful passage, shared from a friend, from Luke 1:45, “Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.” Again and again, the Lord always brings me back to trust.

Trust in what I cannot see. Joy in what I can see... my son now able to point his once paralyzed finger back to Jesus. And somehow all is at peace in my heart for another day.

In counting blessings, It has been an awesome week with Spencer here. He has been able to attend Zachary’s rehab classes and witness firsthand the hard work that he has been putting in. Spencer was able to watch Zac stand and balance, working his core (with full support in his knees and hips), for 2 1/2 minutes on Tuesday and then for 4 1/2 minutes on Thursday. This is up from 6 seconds two weeks ago.

It has also been such a blessing to take a step back and watch the brothers enjoy each other, learning to navigate going out to eat with limited hand function, pushing the wheelchair through the snow, visiting Red Rocks Park, playing a board game with Franz... Today they are putting Zac’s new finger to use at Colorado Clays Shooting Park.

“But that you may KNOW”.... thank You, Lord, for knowledge to rest our hearts upon, for hope to anchor our faith upon, and Truth to place our feet upon.

And as You are working in ways I cannot see, I will choose, as the paralytic, to “rise up” in prelude to the work You will accomplish in Zac.

Journal Entry 3/14 From Kristi

Truly, “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet...” God continues to provide placement for our feet, step by step, even though the path ahead does not seem well lit. What seems to be a speed bump to us is nothing to God. The doors are openings, not in advance, but just at the moment we need them to.

The saga with insurance continues, but we have been granted an additional two more weeks of rehab which allows us to remain here at Craig Outpatient Rehab until the beginning of April, at minimum. We are totally fine with one step at a time for insurance; it puts our complete dependence on the Lord. Such is the parallel with Zac. One step at a time, Lord, for Zac too!! We are cheering You on!!

Therapy this week has been super intense. His team is always chatting among themselves as they work with Zac, laughing and happy but also extremely focused on Zac; “it’s as if they all share the same brain” Zac joked. He started the week by standing (with assistance from the waist down) for 6 seconds. By the end of the week, he was able to stand for 90 seconds. He is getting his core back little by little!

He is exhausted in the evenings. Three hours of Outpatient therapy equals six Inpatient. But it’s a good exhaustion.

We’ve had a major snowstorm hit this weekend so all Sunday classes were canceled. We are super thankful for our cozy apartment. We have even experimented with him sitting on the couch. He was able to do an independent transfer to the couch; I helped him back up out of it. He said it felt so “normal” to chill on the couch. He loved it. And of course, a cup of coffee and a blanket made it even better.

He spent the evening last night doing a Zoom interview with his Uncle Kevin who asked him questions people have been asking us to ask him. Again, if there was one word to describe the conversation, I would say, “joy”. Zac’s joy is evident in every conversation he has, especially as he looks back at what God has done in his life. The interview will be made into a second video about his time here. Soon to come.

Pray for Zac’s hands. They are tightening up and it is becoming a bit more difficult for him to pick things up. He doesn’t complain. But I watched him struggle to pick up his cup of communion during on-line church today and I had to come to assist him. Nevertheless, his heart is steadfast and he takes it at face value. He is living one day at a time, not overwhelmed by the future.

It was such a sweet, sweet week with Rich here. He left on Friday and Spencer arrives tomorrow. We can’t wait!

Journal Entry 3/9 From Kristi

Craig Rehab 2.0 is now in full swing! Whereas Zac’s Inpatient Rehab was focused on equipping Zac with the skills needed to adapt back into life, Outpatient Rehab seems to be focused on recovery. And they are hitting him hard with crazy, wonderful exercises.

The day began with a kayak transfer, just for fun. Zac is so easygoing and happy to try anything.

His OT (Occupational Therapy) season was focused on triggering the upper extremity; specifically, using stimulation to “wake up” his triceps and finger flexion. Ever since Zac started moving his right-hand thumb, we have been praying for his left hand to start moving. And today, his OT said she saw some left-hand finger flexors, a function that is normally only available to those with a C8 level (remember, Zac broke his C5/C6 so any function below that is wonderful!!)

From OT, Zac moved to PT (Physical Therapy) where a team of four therapists worked tirelessly, hooking his back, glutes, abs, and quads up to electric stim to help him stand, working to balance his core. Then the same team of four put him on a treadmill and manually lifted his legs so he could walk.

As I sat watching this wonderful team of four ministering to Zac, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the four that lowered their paralytic friend down through the roof to Jesus’ feet. Jesus healed that paralytic because of the faith of the four friends.

And as I watched the four therapists move my son’s feet, I was reminded that this is all God’s work in Zac: “I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk...” (Ez. 36:27).

I believe God will do this.

And as I watched the four therapists raise him to his feet, the Lord gently whispered, “This is MY work; I will cause him to stand”, for just “stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!” (1 Sam. 12:16).

I believe we will.

And God will receive ALL the glory.

Journal Entry 3/8 From Kristi

Real Life has finally begun!

“Behold, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way...” Is. 43:19

It occurred to me yesterday, as I was watching Zac laughing and taking, that the work God will accomplish in Zac’s life has just begun. God’s just getting started. And HE is the one paving the way.

On Thursday, Zachary discharged from the hospital and moved across the street in the apartments with Rich and I to begin Outpatient Rehab at Craig Hospital.

A few things are noticeably different. First of all, it is wonderful to be sharing a home with Zachary again. We finally get to live life together. We are in Outpatient housing that fits him, everything is spaced out, suitable for his needs. I find myself making sure to keep things picked up off the floor to make a way for him across the room.

Chairs that normally look right being pushed in at the table got moved to sit against the wall... to make a way for him to approach the table.

Supplies have to be put within reach to make a way for him to access that he needs. The couch looked comfy... and we were excited to practice our slide board transfers. Sliding him down on the couch was easy. First time sitting on a couch since Nov. But then we laughed about how we had not considered the 8” uphill slide we would have to accomplish. Somehow, again, God made a way and I didn’t drop him on the floor.

Secondly, we have begun to enter back into the world. We put our PT sessions into practice and I helped Zac transfer into the front seat of our Honda via a slide board. First foot in. Now slide over on the board. Don’t bump your bum on the wheelchair wheel. Let me break the leg spasm in the second leg. Move it into the car. Shut the door before you fall out. Whew! We did it!

Driving around for the first time since injury was instantly humorous. Zac’s core is still weak, so sharp turns caused his upper torso to tip over a bit. After it happened once, I found myself jerking the wheel, (every so slightly, mind you) just for fun. “Physical Therapy sessions” I called them. But it’s great to travel around in the car!

Thursday evening we went to the mall... I wasn’t even sure what to expect. How would we even navigate? We entered the mall’s multi-level parking garage and only saw steps into the mall. Felt a little trapped. Then someone directed us to the elevator one more floor up... *sigh* deep breath Mama, there is a way for your son.

Zac wheeled into the mall without hesitation. Rolled along the smooth floors. Smiled and nodded at those passing by us. We had to walk fast to keep up with him. We ate dinner at Tokyo Joe’s. Moved a few chairs to make a way for him to fit at the table.

Saturday we packed our bags and drove down to Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. Sunday we visited Red Rocks Park. Sunday evening we dined with friends at the Olive Garden. Again, I felt apprehensive about how eating in public would work; after all, he can only move his wrists. But he threaded his fork through his fingers and ate like a perfect gentleman. I was incredibly proud of him.

*sigh*. So much to process, Lord. But You are good and You continue to make a way for us through it all.

Journal Entry 3/4 From Kristi

Zachary has been discharged from the hospital!!

For 104 days, Zac has lived in the hospital. Round the clock help. Nurses on standby to assist his every need; all he has to do is push the little blue button. I haven’t cooked a meal for 104 days. I’ve slept, woke, stayed by Zac’s side as a team of therapists have taught us how to live and move.

But today is different. Mind you, we are only moving across the street from Craig Hospital for the next 2-4 weeks of Outpatient Rehab, but we will be on our own, learning to live life again. And for the first time in 104 days, my boy is gonna sleep under my same roof, in the bedroom next to mine. PJs and movie night!

The ministry of the Holy Spirit has never been more real to me. He has been seen in every doctor, nurse, and therapist that has attended Zac. They simply embody a picture of how God attends us.

He is the Great Physician - "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed... for you are the one I praise." Jer. 17:14

He is the Nurse who is always ready to attend us - “My God shall supply all of your needs.” Phil . 4:19

He is the Physical Therapist - “In Him, we live, and move, and have our being.” Acts 17:28

Time for the next chapter to begin!

Journal Entry 3/3 From Kristi

Last full day in the hospital. I woke up and lay in bed for a moment, just staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts of this past journey since November and thoughts of our future path swirled around in my head. My heart and my flesh felt heavy, like they were failing me, but equally, my heartfelt light and I was very aware God was strengthening my heart, reminding me that HE is our portion forever. (Psalm 73:26) We have NOT been dealt a bad blow. GOD is our portion! God is good; therefore, Life is good.

Nevertheless, I just laid there for a moment, waring between flesh and spirit, but God gently squeezed my heart and caused it not to break.

A tsunami defiantly hit us this week. Our plans to remain in Outpatient therapy came to a halt with insurance complications. We were told we would have to return to Oregon March 4. Home is not ready. Necessary equipment, namely Zac’s wheelchair, would not be covered. The waves felt HUGE and I was gasping for air. Once again, we were waking in the midst of the impossible. Once again, faith and fear wrestled.

But I remembered a lesson from early on in Zac’s injury - we do not have to fear the impossible - indeed, enjoy it - because it sets up “the perfect storm” for God to work His miracles. And so, in the 11th hour, at 11 am, God came through and suddenly Zac was miraculously provided with two weeks of outpatient rehab and gifted a wheelchair.

It was enough to let us take another deep breath, praise the Lord for today’s daily bread, and commit the unknown future back to Him again.

So... this morning of our last day... I stepped out into the sunshine on my short walk to the hospital, the morning air was crisp and refreshing, and I found myself humming, “And all my life You have been faithful; And all my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, Oh, I will sing of the goodness the of God.”

Let’s do this today, Lord.

He’s got bass playing and swimming on his last day schedule.

Time to get back in the waters.

Journal Entry 3/1 From Kristi

On Friday, Zachary had his second InSCI test done. The InSCI is a measure of his paralysis, rating him from ASIA A (no feeling below injury level) to ASIA E (full function below injury level). In December, when we first arrived at Craig, it was the hardest thing to watch my son lay on his back, eyes closed, as therapists touched regions of his chest, arms, and legs, asking him to comment if he felt anything - and watch him just lay silent, feeling nothing at all.

On Friday, as they re-tested him, I watched again as they touched regions below his C5/ C6 (Cervical) injury level with a QTip and then safety pin. We had praise music playing in the room. And as I heard the lyrics to Good, Good Father being sung, “You are perfect in all of Your ways”, I watched them test him once again. It was thrilling to hear him respond to thoracic regions (T1-12) that were below the injury level. It was also sobering to watch him lay silent when they touched areas he still cannot feel. I find it a constant disciple of faith to remember, “Even when I don't see it, You're working, Lord.”

When Zac was competing In high school track, one of my favorite races to watch him run was the 1500 meter race. Here at Craig in the Peak Center gym, patients work their upper body by pulling 300 meters with the SkiErg, indoor skiing machine. The enthusiasts will push it to 500 meters. This week, Zac skied 1000 meters and then returned Saturday to match his track distance by skiing 1500 meters. It took him 13.01 minutes. I love watching him push himself. He sees his paralysis as just another challenge to set goals and work hard.

Today he had another “walk” with the Locomat robotic walker. The tech said the Locomat picked up trace movements in his left knee flexion. Keep it going, Lord!

God is faithful.

Urgent Prayer Request

PLEASE PRAY! Huge meeting at noon today regarding Zac's insurance and outpatient care that was supposed to start this week. To keep the prayer request simple, there are complications with Insurance that directly affect Zac's ability to continue therapy at Craig. He has been making huge strides with therapy and we really need to keep him there longer. Like everything in the medical community, it all comes down to money $$.

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27

Journal Entry 2/24 From Kristi

In God’s economy, the blessed/ happy heart comes from trusting in the Lord. I see this every day in Zachary.

Yesterday, Zac performed brain surgery alongside Craig Hospital’s Brain Injury specialist Dr. Speir M.D. and Spinal Cord Injury Neurosurgeon Jeffrey Berliner, D.O. (Never mind the fact that it was just a sheep brain they were dissecting. It was such a great experience and definitely a step up from the Biology class I taught him!)

The day before, Zac got to talk with Jason Regier, a Paralympian wheelchair rugby player and eight-time gold medalist who lives here in Denver. A very inspiring conversation. Then in the evening, he and some of his buddies here got a crack at doing their own rugby game!

Today, Zac got to hang out in a hammock for the first time in a very long while. He thoroughly enjoyed it!! He also took several laps around the swimming pool with just a dry snorkel, pool noodle, and water shoes. Best of all, he had music class in which they placed a Bass Guitar back in his arms again and he plucked out some notes. What a beautiful sight to see. And he celebrated it all - not grieving what he could not do, not comparing what he used to do, not fearful of facing what was once easy but now an obstacle.

As I pulled up pictures on my phone to show his therapists pictures of Zac in his hammock camping last summer, wake-surfing behind our boat, playing his bass with his brothers... I had to focus hard not to grieve what’s been lost. But Zac doesn’t grieve. He laughs. He smiles at what he can do and tries harder at what he can’t do. There is no other way to explain it than the Lord’s peace is upon him. It is not happiness born out of good circumstances, but simple joy birthed from deep trials in which the Lord has placed the feet of his faith on a Firm Foundation.

Truly, God makes it simple for us. I just complicate life at times with my fear and moments of doubt.

“Blessed/ happy is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD.” Jer. 17:7.

I’m seeing this lived out right before my eyes in the life of my son.

#zacsHope is Jesus

Journal Entry 2/19 From Kristi

And just like that, Zachary is waking.

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?” Jer. 32:2

It was his toe that qualified him.

Wiggle your toe. Such a simple task. Yet far below his injury level so the doctor was excited. One little toe that was able to wiggle on command, and suddenly the doors swung open wide for Zac in allowing him to access new equipment that would otherwise be far from his ability.

Today was awesome as Zac was hoisted up and strapped to the Locomat Robotic Walker... never mind the fact that it did all the walking for him. He was qualified to walk in the half-million-dollar robot because his toe moved.

He loved it. He said at first he felt like a giant tuna hanging in mid-air after being caught. Haha. How does this boy keep finding wonderful humor in everything?? He cracks me up!

He was able to view himself by a mirror that was placed in front of him. And he walked. The robot was computed to compensate for the effort that he put forth. So he wiggled his toe and the robot did the rest of the work, allowing him to walk. Walk!

So often I feel like that little toe. So very little faith to offer in the scope of all that is needed to walk through this life. Yet the Lord says, “wiggle that toe, and I’ll do the rest of the work.” So I wiggle that little speck of trust, the Lord multiplies it 100-fold and suddenly allows me to “walk in faith”, when we (the Lord and I) both know all along that it is Gods doing, not mine.

I’ve never quite thought so much about toes. But I think this adventure with Zac has made me quite thankful for them.

“..if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move... “ Matt 17:20

We have a lot of mountains ahead of us. I’m glad all I need to do is just wiggle one toe.

Journal Entry 2/17 From Kristi

Today was SUCH a full day. Wonderful, full, and hard classes for Zac that really extracted everything from him.

At 10 am, he started with a workout in the Peak Center. At 11 am, he got set up in the Standing Frame where he was brought to a 45-degree angle and then used his arms with electric stimulation on his back extensor muscles to pull himself to a fully upright position. He said it was one of the most intense workouts he has done so far. Thank you, Jesus!!

At 1 pm, he had Pool Therapy. It was incredibly exciting as the instructor began to evaluate lower abdominal and hip flexor muscle movements - confirming that she thought (off the record) some muscles contracting. It would be just like the Lord to bring more movement to Zac in the very place, the waters, which first brought his paralysis. Certainly, our God can exchange beauty for ashes!

At 2 pm he had BAM class, Balance and Mobility. Class was over-staffed so he had four personal trainers working with him! And they worked him hard on the therapy mat!

At 3 pm, he returned to the Peak Center for FES Bikes with electric stimulation on his quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes.

At 4 pm, he had an Upper Extremity working out his triceps, wrists, and finger extensors with the electric stimulation again. (I love those muscle zappers!! Trying to figure out how we can bring one home!)

We spent the evening saying goodbye to Shane, who is getting discharged tomorrow. We will miss him. He has been such a joyful friend to Zac. I snapped a picture of them together giving me their “thumbs up”. It is a blessing to be able to laugh at weakness.

It is snowing hard tonight. I can't wait to see the beautiful snow in the morning!! And Friday, since Zac can move his toe, he gets to "walk" on the Locomat Robotic Walker - how cool will that be!!! I can't wait to see those beautiful legs moving again!!! Good things ahead!!

We are on now our two-week home stretch and it feels things are beginning to tumble forward fast!! We’ve been living in hospitals for the last three months; it will be strange to go out into the real world. In fact, I haven’t cooked a meal in three months! Yikes! I’m in for a shock very soon! Time to stock up on cold cereal. We will discharge to Craig’s Outpatient program in the apartments next door for at least four weeks to learn to do life on our own while visiting the Peak Center for workouts.

The same faithful God who has led us this far will continue to lead us, for we serve a God who never changes.

Journal Entry 2/14 From Kristi

It was a sweet Valentine’s weekend... I bought a box of chocolates for Zac and a second box of chocolates for Zac to give to me. Haha

The weather dropped to -4 and the snow began to fall, placing a peaceful white blanket on everything grey. Such is the grace of God.

Zac put in a solid workout on Saturday with a mentor that had a similar injury 20 years ago... I continue to appreciate his laughter as he works with adaptive equipment to help him with what used to be simple tasks. He always seems up for a challenge.

We were blessed to listen in on church back home and then spend the afternoon chatting with Franz, who also broke his C6 vertebrae, and his mom. The laughter was contagious as the two boys talked about their limitations; the fellowship in sharing like-weaknesses was an encouragement for all of us. Certainly, the Lord has designed the body of Christ to be comforted by one another.

It feels like we are closing in on the home stretch of inpatient rehab. It’s a little scary to consider any kind of transition. Not feeling ready yet.

After saying goodnight to Zac and as I walked back through the snow to my room, I put on headphones to listen to a rebroadcast of Everest leading worship. I turned the volume up as loud as I could take it, drowning out thoughts of the path still before us.

Everest's beautiful voice just kept singing, “I don’t want to go if You’re not going before me...”

And I just broke. One minute so strong and the next so weak.

But the Lord just kept whispering, “Kristi, you can go forward because I’m going before you. I’m going before you....”.

Then the tsunami of my heart subsided, the questions faded away, and the water became still once again. Peace.

He is going before us. And that is all I need to know.

Journal Entry 2/11 From Kristi

On November, 8 days after Zachary’s accident, I handed him his Rubik's Cube. The Cube he once had been able to solve completely in 19 seconds. But 8 days after his injury, it took him about a minute to turn it just ONE rotation.

Tonight, I handed him the cube again and he was able to solve one full side in about a minute. I was blown away!! Progress!! Then he proceeded to solve the ENTIRE cube in about 5 minutes. It was awesome watching those hands work to solve the cube, using wrist movements and now his one thumb.... I was so excited, I scrambled up the cube and challenged him to solve it again. And he did. Three times in a row.

I pulled up the video (below) I took of him 8 days after his injury and we were both so encouraged in the Lord to see how far he has already come. Just when my heart begins to get weary, the Lord reminds us of how far we have come.

Faithful, Lord, You are faithful. When my hope begins to weaken, I see that You have never changed.

Faithful, You are faithful. When my faith begins to waiver, Your Word is still the same.

For every promise You’ve made will come true.

Everything that You’ve said, You will do.

For looking back over time, Your faithfulness shines as the reason my hope is renewed.

We have been given a projected discharge date of March 4, followed by a minimum of four weeks in outpatients therapy where we can continue to visit Craig daily but learn to do life on our own.

🙏🏼 pray that the Lord opens doors for us to have a place back home that is accommodating for Zac

🙏🏼 the Lord gave Zac right hand thumb movement. Now we are praying for his left thumb. Why not!!! God says in James 4:2, “you have not, because you ask not!”

🙏🏼 the Lord also gave Zac movement in one toe. Pray for a second toe to move now.

We will continue to “stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which HE will accomplish” (Ex 14:13)

Journal Entry 2/8 From Kristi

Wow, it certainly poured today!! God’s great love, that is.

After six days of Zac getting time with his Dad, I was more than ready to take my turn. (Only one of us can be with Zac per day). I did my best to appreciate the break, but honestly, when God is moving and working, the best place to be is in the middle of the impossibilities, because that is where all of the miracles happen. I about ran back into Zac’s room this morning, just to see what God was gonna do next. And certainly, “hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been POURED out.” (Rom. 5:5)

During his first class, Zac was showing his physical therapist his newest “trick” - he can move his right toe. Just as he was doing this, his doctor, Dr. J, walks in to observe it too. “That’s incredible, Zac! But for some reason, I’m not surprised. And this also gives more hope for other parts to return! You just (unofficially) leapfrogged two Spinal Cord Injury classification levels - from A to C!” (Zac was originally evaluated as an “A” - no feeling below injury level, now to “C” - some motor skill below injury level. Level E is considered normal motor and sensory function.)

His physical therapist said this opened Zac up for new kinds of therapy... namely the Lokomat - a robot-assisted waking therapy machine that I’ve been hoping he could get some time with.

If THAT wasn’t enough of God pouring out, Zac comes rolling back into his room later that day, grinning ear to ear. “God gave me back a thumb,” he said. He proceeded to tell me that while he was in his Upper Extremities class, where electric stimulation was hooked up to his wrists and fingers, he felt his right hand thumb come “alive”. So after they turned off the stim unit, he was able to bend his thumb on command. This is soooo huge!!! He has only been using wrist movement up until now.

AND if THAT wasn’t enough, he closed off the evening by showing me how he could hit his thigh, causing his leg to spasm out, but then use QUAD control to lower his leg down slowly. Ever so slight, mind you, but quadricep control, Lord?! You are too good!!!

I find some humor in the fact that I get to celebrate my boy learning these baby steps all over again. All of those wonderful “firsts” I remember celebrating when Zac was little, I get to do all over again. He was joyful as a toddler; he is joyful now. His simple faith in God remains the same.

Whew!! My happy heart is so tired now. Back in the middle of the fire; back in the middle of God’s blessings.

“Therefore we do not lose heart... inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” 2 Cor. 4:16

Journal Entry 2/6 From Kristi

One year ago today the Lord worked a miracle in my family. A miracle I could hardly believe the Lord could make happen. An answer to the prayer of my heart. “Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit” the Lord reminded me. (Zech. 4:6). It was His doing alone.

One year ago today our entire family of 6 stepped foot into the Promised Land of Israel as the Lord answered a prayer I had been praying about for over 27 years. He allowed not only my feet to step upon those precious shores that had been the longing of my heart, but also the feet of Rich, Charis, Spencer, Zachary, and Everest. We placed our feet in the Footsteps of Jesus. It was not our might, nor power that allowed us to take that first step, but Gods Spirit that breathed life into what for me seemed the impossible - to step into the same land where Jesus walked.

And as we toured that land as a family for 32 days, roaming from the Mount of Olives to the Sea of Galilee, seeing incredible sights, that gripped my heart and overwhelmed my spirit, I could hardly reconcile what I was seeing with all of the stories I had read in God’s Word. But standing there in that Land, the truth of the Word came washing over me - but only when I closed my eyes. And there I saw Jesus and the comfort of my faith... seeing every story in God’s Word come alive, not by what I could see, but what I believed because of the Word of God. Israel became real when I shut my eyes. Because that’s where my faith was found.

And here we are a year later. One pair of those feet that stepped into Israel are not are not moving right now. Not stepping. Not walking. And it breaks my heart. But I find myself, once again, closing my eyes, shutting out what I see with my sight, and finding the comfort of faith is still there... not based on what is seen but on what is unseen. Not based on my might nor power, but on God’s Spirit.

Truly, faith comes, not by what we see, but by what we hear, and what we hear is Truth, and that Truth is the Word of God.

The Women’s Bible Study that I was teaching - “In the Footsteps of Jesus” - suddenly came to a halt with Zac’s accident. But I’m ready to go into the next chapter now - John 9 - where Jesus healed a man “so that the power of God could be seen in him.” Only I’m not the teacher this time; God is, and will reveal His power through Zac by the truth of His Word.

Thank you for the comfort of our faith, Lord, that gives us a sure place to reside, contrary to what we see with our eyes. Your Word is Truth. And even as this Scripture is about You, may it also be true for my Zachary: “And in that day His feet will STAND (once again) on the Mount of Olives” (Zech 14:4)

Journal Entry 2/5 From Rich

Zach has increased in his weight and muscle tone. This is good. He went from 155lbs at the time of the accident to 131lbs during this early time in recovery. He now weighs 143lbs, which is actually exciting because this reveals muscle mass contributing to the gain.

He is working very hard in all his classes which have been focusing on coordinating vital disciplines to thrive in recovery and life skills.

The physical therapy is designed for articulating the motions of his limbs with strength to accomplish a movement goal.

There is so much physical exertion to make even the simplest of movements we often take for granted; to even shift body position in a wheel chair, to roll over in bed, to put on different clothing, to eat and drink, these activities require strategy, strength, and stamina to get something done.

Remembering former pre-trauma accomplishments now must serve as a tutor in relearning everything all over again, but with the disadvantage of severe weakness.

How much Zach continues to trust the Lord in each day’s activities and maintain a spiritual resolve of excitement to see what the Lord is going to accomplish.

Today we concluded our time with a guitar and vocals class. Zach has been the quiet minstrel, but now God’s going to have fun with his voice.

So, I plucked out 7 notes and he sang each of them, then we transitioned into chords within familiar melodies and sang some songs together.

I then formed his hands around the guitar and showed him how to just strum without losing the pick. He did it!

As you know he is a consummately trained piano player and a skilled bass player, soon to be a vocalist! We are so proud of him becoming once again, a tool in the Master’s Hand!

Journal Entry 2/1 From Kristi

The cavalry arrived! That is, Rich arrived to spend a week here with Zac, as well as my friend Meshell who came to hang with me.

So I was saying goodnight to Zac this evening, praying for his time tomorrow with Rich, and I suddenly got quite teary-eyed at having to pass off the baton. He noticed. I laughed at my tears. I told him I’m glad Dad gets time with him, but honestly, I’m a bit jealous. This season of trial has been so huge, but Gods Word continues to triumph over all, and because Zac is allowing Gods Spirit to rest upon him, he becomes a magnet for others to want to be around... to catch some of that joy, that peace, that strength. But the glory is not his, he is simply allowing God to make him His workmanship. And it attracts all of us around him.

It amazes me that there is such comfort in the trial when God’s presence is felt. There is a comfort in the impossibilities because Gods power is evident. There is such a comfort in the tears because Gods Word is such a foundation to fall upon. There is a comfort in weakness, because we are learning to dare believe God is on the brink of amazing us. For He says He will when we pray. Indeed, His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9).

Thank you, Lord, for these trials that draw us to You. For it dares us to say there is no place we would rather be.

That being said, Rich gets the blessing of being with Zac tomorrow and I’m gonna tackle the Rocky Mountain Roller Coster up Copper mountain in the snow with Meshell. I’m sure we will find God there too 😉

Journal Entry 1/29 From Kristi

I had a dream last night that we went camping. And I was anxious, fretting over how I was gonna wheel Zacs chair through the gravel...

I woke up wondering how in the world do we navigate life on wheels? Admittedly, the day did not start off so well. I began to sink and the tears began to flow.

But I’m beginning to realize something. My tears come when I say “what if.... ?” Because I don’t know the answers. And the details of the future are not certain.

But EVERY time, I find God‘s word the answer to each uncertainty. Every time.

“I will provide for you.” Phil 4:19

“I have heard your prayers and seen your tears. I will heal you.” 2 Kings 20:5

“I will be your strength.” Is 40:29

“Trust in Me; I will make your paths straight.” Prov. 3:5-6

And then suddenly there is no “What If” question. God’s Word becomes a fact that cannot be challenged. God‘s Word changes everything. My BELIEF in God‘s Word changes me. For if by faith we have been saved, then by faith we must be sustained.

Boot Camp was in full swing today.

8 am therapy session on how to get dressed, 9 am how to navigate curbs in a wheelchair, 10 am workout in Peak Center, 11 am Electric Stimulation Bikes, 1 pm Acupuncture, 2 pm Triceps Electronic Stimulation, 3:30 Standing Frame...

Zac is working so hard. He is getting stronger each day. Fingers and toes are trembling slightly, triceps are coming back, balance is improving, his countenance is joyful, he can still beat me in arm wrestling with his huge biceps... much to celebrate each day.

So I’ll praise you, God, for today. Teach me to leave the What If’s out of my vocabulary. There is no uncertainty in following You. You already have a plan.

Journal Entry 1/26 From Kristi

Standing on God's promises!

Zac got to a full standing position today for the first time with the standing frame. So exciting to see! All of that wonderful bodyweight now flowing into those legs and feet!!

Yesterday Zac was able to go on an outing for the first time since his accident on Nov 20th. Several Craig therapists took us out biking... Zac rode a power-assisted hand bike - and biking is one of his favorite sports!! So amazing to be out in the fresh air and see him “active”.

Tonight we continued to challenge his fingers to move. His brain is communicating with them, it is exciting to see life in them!!! So we will continue to work on “talking” to his fingers!! Lord, do a mighty work in his hands!!

Journal Entry 1/23 From Kristi

Zac and I had a sweet weekend together.... it takes a bit of an effort to stay busy here when there are no classes... part of me still feels a little nervous to have moments of no activity - as if I’m afraid Zac will think about this too much... so I keep us busy. But he remains at peace.

We started out Saturday morning by listening to the Bible, then a coffee break outside, went to the Peak Center to workout with hand crank cycle, lunch, Bible memory work (Psalm 139), air hockey in Rec Center, standing frame and core balance... then he connected with Franz and played some video games with adaptive controllers.

I found myself being quite overwhelmed today in thinking about the logistics of bringing Zac back home. How in the world will he adapt? But then I watched him laughing this evening, playing video games with his cousins, amused at his oversized adaptive hand controller set, and I realized that he is already doing it... already living in that place of joy. And it’s making all the difference in the world for him, and for me. I’m so thankful for his joyful heart. It changes everything.

#zacsHope is not just a hashtag. It declares the source of his strength. God has given him joy and certainly a peace... because he continues to believe. Which is really exciting, because God can do so much with a man of faith. Plus, he’s got a great laugh.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may about in hope.” Romans 15:13